We all have ways to cope with difficult moments in life. Some people paint pictures worth millions. Some people write incredible masterpieces. I created sparkle theory. If I had to describe sparkle theory in a single movie scene, it would have to be the Steve Buscemi scene in Billy Madison. You know the one. The scene where his character is sitting in his house when Billy Madison calls to apologize? He crosses off Billy Madison’s name on his kill list, puts on like the brightest shade of red lipstick that you could find, and leans back on his sofa. You know, that one? That, my dear, is sparkle theory in its very essence.

Sparkle theory is the performance of a low, or minimal effort, thing that you can do/wear/create to make your day a little bit brighter. For example, on exceptionally low days, I put on a pair of my favorite statement earrings. It doesn’t truly matter how uncouth it looks to wear statement earrings with pajamas. I simply fool myself into thinking my unkempt hair makes me look chic, nay, Parisian. It makes me feel a little more like myself when I catch a glimpse of those glittering, gaudy earrings.

Most days, I try to find something to do in the 15 minute window where I feel good. Sometimes I paint my nails, sometimes I paint a crappy picture, and sometimes I wear my creative cardigan. My creative cardigan is composed of violent shades of pink, and red. It’s obnoxious, and every time I wear it, it brings me joy. I pull it out on those special days where I want to pretend I’m some pretentious art student whose dad works on Wall Street. With that cardigan, I’ll give meaning to blank canvases in modern museums titled “Consumerism”. I’ll say words like juxtaposition. I’ll pretend that I know what I’m doing. That, my bosom sister, is sparkle theory.

One of my friends told me that she went out and bought a fresh pack of crayons. We all know the joy that fresh new school supplies bring. They actually made you excited to go to school. To make her day a little brighter, she bought a pack of crayons. That is a perfect example of sparkle theory in motion. So what have we learned?

Use the fine china for a regular meal! Put fresh herbs in crystal vases! Listen to your favorite song from when you were a kid! Reconnect to your inner child! Buy a Polly Pocket! Give someone a giant hug! I don’t know! Just do something!

Xoxo, Lady Samantha